Innocents Abroad
by WinterD
Summary: AU 6th year. Two months, three weeks, four days, and three ours ago, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy disappeared without a trace from Hogwarts. Ten minutes and twenty-seven seconds ago, the three had returned.


Title: Innocents Abroad

Rated: PG-13

Summary: AU 6th year.

_Two months, three weeks, four days, and three ours ago, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy disappeared without a trace from Hogwarts. Ten minutes and twenty-seven seconds ago, the three had returned. _

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Good ole J.K. owns everything else.

AN: This pretty much ignores all of HBP and DH. In fact, its pretty safe to say that this just AU right after OotP. There still some stuff from HBP that will pop up, but the story doesn't really focus in on those. And, yes, once again, I know there are several other things I should be concentrating on, but this was bugging me. This is also my first time writing some of these characters, so if they're terribly OOC, I do apologies. Anyway, hopes someone enjoys.

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"_It's always best to start at the beginning…."_

_Glinda, Good Witch of the North_

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_Prologue: Welcome Back _

Severus Snape hurried the halls of Hogwarts in a way that couldn't exactly be called running, but came fairly close to the act. Had students been present, he was sure that they would be fleeing left and right to get away from him (they did that anyway when he was just out for a causal stroll). As it were, the students were currently asleep in their beds and accounted for, except for three.

Exactly two months, three weeks, four days, and three hours ago, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy - three Sixth Year students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - disappeared from the forth floor corridor in the east wing of the castle. The reason they knew the exactness of this occurrence was because it had been witnessed by Ronald Weasley, who had been with his two best friends and the Slytherin when it happened. When asked why the trio and Mr. Malfoy had been in the corridor after hours (because it had nearly been eleven at night when the incident occurred) the stammer idiot - err…distraught student had told them that Mr. Potter and himself had gone to investigate an interesting painting they had been hearing rumors of being cursed. Most people would have stayed clear of something that was rumored to be cursed, but of course not Potter. No, he runs straight to the blasted thing. It really was a wondered that he had somehow managed to make it to his Sixth Year still alive and in one piece. But this was off the point.

As for Mr. Malfoy and Miss. Granger, well, they were doing their duties as prefects and patrolling the halls and just happened to find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. Though, knowing the Know-It-All, she had probably gone there to make sure her friends weren't doing what they were doing or trying to help them in some way and Mr. Malfoy was really the only one to get drug alone. Or he followed her because Miss. Granger knew full well that Draco would take the opportunity to get them in trouble if found out about Potter and Weasley's activities.

No one was still exactly sure what happened because Weasley was determined to make as little sense as possible. He told about the rumor that was spreading around about the painting of the pining princess on the forth floor, about how if she looked at you that you would disappear forever. Snape had heard that rumor before; it would crop up ever few years when the girl in the painting they were referring to would return from wherever she had disappeared to. They had started shortly before Snape had begun to work at the school as the Potions Master and he had never put much stock into the whispers of children trying to scare those younger than them. He did have better things to do after all. But as the Weasley boy explained why they were there, Snape had seen the twinkle in Albus' eyes dim and he looked every bit his age at that moment. Later, he would go and see the painting himself and find that the princess was indeed gone. Snape knew the worst then, but had refrained from asking. They had other things to worry about, anyway.

Weasley had gone on to tell them they were all there one moment, and then it felt as if something had pushed him. Hard. The next thing he said he remembered was laying on the ground and realizing he was alone.

However it happened, it did. Potter, Granger, and Draco were gone. They had managed to keep it quiet for nearly two days. (If there was any luck to be had in all of this was the fact that the three had decided to disappear on a Friday evening, which gave the Order the weekend to try and come up with something to say happened.) However, when Monday classes came, they were missed. By that following Friday all the students and their parents knew that two-thirds of the Golden Trio and Draco had disappeared sometime over the previous weekend.

When the news broke, well, there was quite a bit of reaction. The Ministry became paranoid on a level that rivaled the Dark Lord at his worst. Scrimgeour was livid. Narcissa was beside herself. The Dark Lord varied between paranoia over his belief that Potter must be off plotting something against him and the manic glee he received from his ever increasing boldness in his and his followers attacks.

It was a bit of a saving grace for Draco, though. The Dark Lord had hardly given a thought to the younger Malfoy's assignment, instead focusing all his energy on looking for Potter. Snape wasn't particularly sure how long that would last, but any extra time he considered to be helpful.

Hurrying up a flight of stairs, Snape made a sharp turn and nearly found himself careening into Minerva McGonagall, who was heading in the same direction as he from the opposite way. Grabbing her shoulders, he steadied her as she swayed on her feet. The older witch was dressed in her nightwear. Snape wasn't sure how, but she still managed to look prim even when dressed in her dressing gown and that silly nightcap tied on top of her head. The illusion was short lived, however, when he saw the frantic look pass over her face.

"Severus," she said, stumbling a bit as he released her. He turned and stalked off with her following close behind. "It's true then."

It was a statement, not a question, though still a stupid one. He bit off the sarcastic remark that laced his tongue. She might be a fellow teacher and a good bit older than he, but even he knew better than let loose one of his acid remarks at her. He really would rather not spend the rest of his life as her slippers, thank you.

Instead, he said, "So it would seem."

"Did his message say anything to you?" McGonagall asked as they rounded another familiar corner.

"Nothing more than what his said to you," Snape said, running up another flight of stairs.

The rest of the trip was made in relative silence. Neither of them cared much for the others company. Outside of school related activities or business with the Order, the pair avoided one another with a carefully laid out dance of schedules and routines that they had perfected over the past fifteen years of working together. Yet here they were, hurrying the halls together, but there was a good reason for that. You see, two months, three weeks, four days, and three ours ago, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy did disappeared without a trace from Hogwarts. Ten minutes and twenty-seven seconds ago, Snape had been informed by a rather frazzled house-elf that the three had returned.

When they reached the hall that housed the entrance to Dumbledore's office, Snape and McGonagall found another house-elf waiting for them. Snape knew this house-elf. He had once belonged to Lucius before Potter had tricked him out of his servant. Oh, how did Snape despise Potter all the more for that. He wondered if the boy had any idea how much Lucius could whine. Draco was practically calm and accepting as compared to his father.

The house-elf - Dottie or something - wore a little uniform with a knit hat on top of its head. Even more off than the house-elf wearing a uniform and knit hat was the fact that the top of the hat was slightly singed and still smoldering. If Snape cared enough, he might have wondered why, but as it were he did not so he didn't question it. Standing tall, the house-elf managed to puff out its chest a bit. Snape wasn't sure exactly what image the creature was trying to project, but it just ended up looking rather ridiculous in his opinion.

Drawing in a deep breath, the house-elf said, "Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape are to -."

Pushing it out of the way, Snape stepped up to the gargoyle and said, "Acid pops."

It sprang to life and jumped out of the way to allow the teacher entry, but the house-elf moved in his way and pushed him back.

Snape sneered down at the thing, but it simple frowned back up at him. "Dumbledore says that Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape is to wait here while Dobby announces them."

"What? Why?" McGonagall asked.

The creature ducked his head a bit. "Harry Potter is a…bit jumpy." At this the house-elf reached up and touched at the smoldering tip of the hat. The thing's wide eyes grew larger when he realized what he said could sound bad for Potter. Wailing as if the boy had died, it said, "But it's not Harry Potter faults! Dobby surprised him, Dobby did. Harry Potter would -."

"We don't care!" Snape hissed. "Go do whatever it is you're supposed to be doing and let us by!"

Fat tears rolled down from the creature's bug eyes, but it hefted its chin. Drawing in a breath, it disapparated with a pop.

"Really, Severus, was that - ."

A substantially loud bang sounded from within the Headmaster's office. Wand in hand and with an equally armed McGonagall close behind, Snape hurried up the stairs and threw opened the office door.

Next to the door was Dobby, crouching low and covering his head. A good portion of the hat had been burnt off, revealing the top of the house-elf's head. A few of his hairs were smoldering, much like the section of wall next to the door.

Dumbledore was standing behind his desk, frowning, and holding two wands in his good hand. He didn't look angry - although Snape admitted he had rarely seen the Headmaster angry unless it involved the Ministry (even matters concerning the Dark Lord were usually meet with only a sad look or worry upon Albus' face). Dumbledore did look tired and more than a bit relieved.

Standing in front of Albus' desk was the source of all this commotion.

Potter was upon his feet. When Snape had walked through the door, the boy had been facing Dumbledore, surprised, and with his hand opened from having his wand taken away. However, when he saw Snape, he jumped slightly, balling his fists and bringing them up in a defensive manner. As if that would provide any sort of protection. The boy relaxed a bit when he recognized him and McGonagall, but even then only marginal.

Embarrassed, Potter muttered a quick, "Sorry, Professor."

Next to him stood Draco, also obviously having had his wand taken away. Unlike Potter, who at least looked a bit apologetic about his behavior, the youngest Malfoy was completely annoyed and had a borderline sneer on his face.

Miss Granger was standing in front of one the wingback chairs set in front of Albus' desk, looking between the boys with an expression that was a cross between exasperation and annoyance.

"Really you two," she muttered before turning her attention to the two teachers. "Professors."

Sheepishly lifting his head, Dobby said, "Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape is here."

"Thank you, Dobby," said Albus.

The house-elf nodded and then disapparated again with a pop.

Placing the boys' wands onto his desk, Albus' smile turned warm. "Severus, Minerva, it is my pleasure to inform you that a few of our wayward students from your houses have returned, in tact and relatively unharmed." The old man's eyes twinkled dangerously as he turned his attention back to the youths. "And it would seem that you are both just in time, for they were just about to tell me about where they have been."

Potter frowned at the Headmaster and Snape knew that the boy had had no intentions of regaling them with tales of whatever misadventure that he managed to get the three of them into. Not at that moment, anyway.

"Are you sure that is a wise idea, Albus?" McGonagall asked. "They only just returned and I'm sure they would like to get some rest."

"Perhaps they would, Minerva, but I am also sure that sleep will not be coming to any of us soon. I have always been one for a good story before bed, anyhow," Albus grinned.

Running his hands through his hair, Potter sighed. "Are you sure we shouldn't wait for the others, Professor?"

Snape knew when Potter had said 'others', he hadn't been speaking about the Ministry officials that would be showing up in the next few hours once news of their return was made public. Quite frankly, he was surprised that they weren't running over with Order members at the moment. Snape then glanced over at Draco. Then again, maybe there was a reason.

"Oh, I don't think they will mind if we start without them," Dumbledore said.

Potter turned to Granger and Draco. Granger was pressing her lips into a thin line and didn't seem any more anxious about sharing the details of their ordeal than Potter. Draco, however, still seemed indifferent. Dropping himself into the chair next to Granger's, the youngest Malfoy made himself comfortable.

"Might as well, Potter," he said, propping his chin on one hand while the other lazily draped over the side of the other arm rest. Snape noticed that it was dangerously close to touching Granger - something he had never seen Malfoy do before - but the boy nor Granger seemed to notice. "We'll be telling this story a few time, I suspect. Might as well get the facts straight."

Potter once again turned to Granger, who nodded. "He's right, Harry."

It was at that moment that Snape suspected that one of his students must have finally managed to do the impossible and slip some sort of potion into his food that night and now had killed him. Had Hermione Granger - Miss Know-It-All Gryffindor - actually agreed with Draco Malfoy?

Even Dumbledore was doing a poor job of hiding his surprise, though judging by the twinkle in his eyes that just magnified itself ten time, he didn't seem to disapprove. Well, Snape supposed it was marginally better than the two trying to kill one another, but only just.

Scratching the back of his head, Potter nodded in agreement and took his seat.

Now Potter was agreeing with Draco without any sort of fight? That settled it. He really must be dead and in some sort of twisted version of the afterlife. Funny. Whenever he had given a through to it, he always pictured there to be a bit more brimstone.

"Wonderful," Dumbledore said, before conjuring two more chairs. "Best we make ourselves comfortable, for I think this might be quiet a long tale."

Snape took his seat. At least Albus hadn't thought to offer them any of that rock-hard lemon drop candy he was so fond of.

Potter shifted in his seat. "I'm not sure where to begin."

"I always find the beginning to be the best and easiest place to start," Albus said.

Nodding his head, Potter said, "I guess it started with Seamus, then."

--


End file.
